Love

As I was lying on my bed in the middle of the night after way too much wine, a thought crossed my tired mind. Is there any romance left in this world? You know…that old-fashioned kind of love you can see in black and white movies. I feel like we are trapped in a century where feelings are taken as a weakness and a instead of a stable relationship, everyone desires after good sex without feelings.  

It was one hour after midnight when a message popped up on my phone. Yes, it was from a guy and yes, we made plans for the next day. I knew what I wanted, so I decided to ignore my inner voice trying to talk me out of it. I told to myself: "What can go wrong?". The thing is, that this guy is my crush since I can remember. We do not get to see each other very often but when we do, I always feel something. Until now, we couldn't really have something because he had a girlfriend...until now. It was nothing serious but you know...he's always been my forbidden fruit. And the thing with the forbidden fruit is you always want to taste it.

I met him the next day, and it was a bit different from what I was expecting. We went for a walk, talked, laughed and when we got to his place, we watched a cartoon. And as I was lying next to him, I realized I couldn't do this to myself. With anybody else, I would go for it instantly but with him, it was different. I did not fall in love, it was still just a crush but somehow, I wanted it to stay that way. I kind of enjoyed that feeling of having crush on somebody. It felt innocently and nice and I really needed that in this phase of my life. I felt like if I slept with him, I would kill the last piece of romance left in me. So when the cartoon finished I stood up, said goodbye and walked away. I decided to let it be what it was...the forbidden fruit.